If you follow long-form television, you get a prize. We can't keep House and Heroes straight, can't recall who's married to whom on Desperate Housewives, and wonder why Battlestar Galactica has female robots. So look at the image above, email us what is really happening, and we'll give you a free Mini Cooper S*. (*Matchbox size. Maybe. Restrictions apply.)
These long, convoluted plot lines are obvious loyalty devices, building up consumer switching costs like those fictitious cell phone rollover minutes. Don't leave, or you'll miss something special! Sometimes it backfires: John from Cincinnati is a dog. Sometimes, ratings go up: Sci Fi channel's audience shot up back in 2004 as several long plot formats began. Sci Fi complexity works especially well, since the audience is highly attuned and plot nuances can carry over to web and video games for huge cross-sales.
If you need help, check out SciFi.com's scifipedia. You'll learn Battlestar Galactica's Cylons are now attractive humanoid women in tight translucent tank tops who claim God can talk to them.
But you knew that already, didn't you?
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